Living with an almost three year old is rough, especially days where said child refuses naps. Today was an especially hard day. A major battle of wills between myself and my toddler. By the end of the day, we were both exhausted, screaming, and overall in foul moods.
I try to be a calm and loving mother, but some days it doesn’t work that way. Today there was a lot of yelling, all provoked, but not all quite necessary. I don’t enjoy telling at my child, sometimes in my frustration I just don’t have any other way to communicate.
I knew the day was hard on both of us and thought that everything would get better after bedtime. It did, momentarily. My almost three year old had a nightmare. He woke up crying after just over an hour saying ‘mommy yelled at me’. I’ve never felt so broken and awful as I did hearing him cry because I was the monster in his dream. I crawled into his bed and just held him and cried with him till he went back to sleep.
I try to practice peaceful parenting. I try to be loving and understanding and not void his own emotions, but today, I truly was the monster to him. I never want that to happen again. I never want to be the reason he is scared. I want to be his hope, his trust, and his sanctuary. I have a lot left to learn in parenting, but I have learned this: even when your child fears you, they still have an unimaginable love for you. Show them the love, not the hate.
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